Kevin and I recently celebrated our first anniversary of marriage! It’s been such a great year. We celebrated by going to SF for a few days – exploring the city and eating yummy food. When I get around to it, I’ll post some more pictures of our time there.
One thing that’s been a staple of our relationship has been discussion questions. When we had been dating for about six or seven months, we worked through the book 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged. Some of the questions were really obvious and we already knew each other’s answers, but others were very helpful and allowed us to have more deep, intentional conversations. It was helpful to have the structure and we got to cover a lot of different topics.
Recently, one of my friends passed along some reflection questions that he and his wife talk through twice a year (once a few weeks before their anniversary, and again about 6 months later). The idea is to have an extended check-up and conversation about how marriage is going, but to NOT try and discuss them while on an anniversary trip or celebration.
We’ve been working through them over several nights, and found them really worthwhile – so I post them here for others as a resource. You don’t have to wait for your anniversary or 6 months after your anniversary, maybe you can talk through them before Valentine’s Day. We’re still relatively new to this marriage thing, but I’m looking forward to years and years of getting to talk through these questions.
Reflections on our Life Together….
As Growing People
- What signs of growth or change can I see in myself as a person? What am I moving toward? What am I leaving behind?
- What growth or change do I see in my spouse, and how is that affecting me/us?
- Where do I see God present and at work in my life?
- Where is God at work in us as a couple?
As a Couple
- What are some “blocked” areas between us, that we find hard to talk about or deal with?
- How do we have fun together? When do we laugh together? What do we enjoy doing together?
- How do I feel about the time and energy we have to be together and for one another?
As a Family
- What do I see happening in each child at this time?
- How do I feel about our life together as a family?
- What are some decisions that we need to make about our children and our family?
Outside the Home
- How do I feel about my job/work? (satisfactions, frustrations, hopes, fears)
- What is happening in my/our involvement in the Church?
- How are our/my friendships with others?
- What is happening in our extended family? How is this affecting us?