Movement is good. Movement is hard work.
In yoga, movement allows stuck muscles to stretch and work, allows blood to flow more easily, and the breathing anchors it all. Inhale. Exhale. Yoga practitioners say that our bodies sit too much in chairs and don’t move around enough – everything gets stagnant.
In life too, I am trying to remember that movement is good. Practically, it forces me to evaluate what stuff I want to go with me. I sort out what’s worth keeping and what’s not. Coming change makes everything more sharp – I only have X amount of time left in Austin, and I choose which things are the most important. And I’m glad – a lot of the time I’ve been really grateful.
I sort through my office near campus and am grateful for 9 years of ministry at UT – from that first CBS small group in Dobie to the last joint large group on campus. I’m grateful for all that God’s done in the lives around me – just looking through all the files makes me remember how much good ministry work I’ve done. But I’m also grateful for how He’s been transforming me – saving me from my perfectionism, workaholic tendencies, and performance identity.
Still, I’ve been here awhile, and it’s been clear that God’s calling me into a new season. So I’m getting a chance to stretch, to move, to bring life into places that haven’t been stretched in awhile. And it’s painful at times. Ok, lots of times. I’m rusty at trusting God – or haven’t felt it so sharply in a long time. I’m trying to trust that He’ll provide in a new place the things that I’ve had for a long time in Austin – church, community and friends, finances, doctors I like… the list could go on and on. The losses are incredible – there are many, many people and things I’m leaving behind – what does it look like to trust that God will provide?
Movement is hard work. There’s the physical and logistical work of packing, and all the decisions to be made which can be so overwhelming. But the hardest work for me is trusting God. But just like in yoga where the movement is work, there’s an aspect of ‘not work.’ It’s not about effort in yoga, and I don’t think it is in trusting God either. I want to live into it. Breathe into it.
In my yoga practice, on the inhale I often pray, “The Lord is my shepherd” and on the exhale “I shall not want.” Here’s to breathing that in the transition!
now playing: Thank You – Glen Phillips