Friday April 16, 2004

from the mosaic Lenten blog – april 6

In some ways, Lent has been a bit of a disaster. I’ve failed at what I said I’d give up for Lent. My sister has cancer, my family is a wreck. I went to Manila and revisited some places that cry out for God’s justice. I’ve had jetlag, and never feel rested. The last few weeks have felt really confusing, dark, and disconnected. On second thought, maybe Lent has been a success, in that sense, a season of confusion.

Failing reminds me just how much I can’t do it on my own. Being in Manila reminded me how much the world needs God’s kingdom. As I think about being with my family this weekend, there’s no warm fuzzy feeling of closeness to God, only the stark ‘I can’t do this without you.’

 

it’s now 10 days later, and Lent is over.  Easter has happened.  things feel lighter, in a lot of ways.  definitely not fixed, or anything, but lighter.  a little more hope, a little more light.  home was good, parts of it are going to be really hard this summer… picture going back home summer after your freshman year, and then multiply that feeling of ‘not independent’ by about 30.  πŸ˜‰  But I have a hunch that it’ll really pay off. 

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